The world is pretty in pink…plus…sometimes it even sparkles

Posts tagged ‘FilmGuy’

A Dangling Band-Aid

It’s been a year. 

A year since I allowed FilmGuy back into my life. 

A year since I really wanted this relationship to work. 

A year to realize that it’s not now nor ever going to be the relationship and friendship and lover I want for myself. And that I deserve for myself. 

I’m 95% confident FilmGuy is feeling the same. I can tell by the lack of him initiating contact (even verbally) and from my personae when not around him for an extended period of time.  In fact, there may not be closure, nor maturity for how this will ultimately end. 

I could just be throwing his keys under the door and walking away. Which kinda feels awesome. 

There is one more dangling thread from his film company that I was associated with that needs to be addressed. I will do that, hopefully today if someone is free at the bank. 

Then there is nothing. 

No more reason to talk. No more reason to see each other. 

We are on different paths. Different trajectories. 

It’s a gut feeling that I have. That I’ve finally experienced. That I was told by many it would come. I don’t regret the past year, however, I really wish my gut would have worked faster. Life is too short. 

It’s now time to rip the dangling band-aid.

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Thankful Thursday

This is the first time I’ve done this. In fact, I’m literally poaching the idea from here, Maura’s little blog that I’ve started to follow.  I’m going to try and keep my commitment to do this weekly. So let’s begin!

Today I’m grateful for:

  • FilmGuy’s foresight to celebrate my bday with such a fun night a week early. We went to see Kid Rock and it we had a blast. Good show, good company even though it was a Tuesday night! Also, such good foresight as he was unexpectedly called away to work outta town this week and therefore is gone fore two weeks instead of one. So I’m glad we had the chance to celebrate.
  • that for the first time since…well…ever…I was able to run 4km non-stop which includes a “run”?, “jog”? around Lost Lagoon. It was a slow go, but I made it! And for the most part it felt great!

  • a four day weekend, originally planned for a trip to Whistler with FilmGuy, but since he’s gone this week, I have more time to organize the apartment and located the shelves and purge the clutter…well as much as I can 🙂 Maybe I’ll even dust! Just grateful for an apartment and food in the fridge (well there will be once I hit up the market).