It’s been a year.
A year since I allowed FilmGuy back into my life.
A year since I really wanted this relationship to work.
A year to realize that it’s not now nor ever going to be the relationship and friendship and lover I want for myself. And that I deserve for myself.
I’m 95% confident FilmGuy is feeling the same. I can tell by the lack of him initiating contact (even verbally) and from my personae when not around him for an extended period of time. In fact, there may not be closure, nor maturity for how this will ultimately end.
I could just be throwing his keys under the door and walking away. Which kinda feels awesome.
There is one more dangling thread from his film company that I was associated with that needs to be addressed. I will do that, hopefully today if someone is free at the bank.
Then there is nothing.
No more reason to talk. No more reason to see each other.
We are on different paths. Different trajectories.
It’s a gut feeling that I have. That I’ve finally experienced. That I was told by many it would come. I don’t regret the past year, however, I really wish my gut would have worked faster. Life is too short.
It’s now time to rip the dangling band-aid.