This summer has been fantastic for the most part.
I’m sailing mostly and playing beach volleyball and have met new people and have been able to to hang out with old.
It’s been fabulous.
For the most part.
Then I figured it out. The past four weeks. I’ve watched it unfold. Basically since a week before I was a Glutton for Punishment.
Jacques started to date this girl at the club. And I watched it happen in front of me. He goes after what he wants. Then when he doesn’t want it. He moves along.
She’s starting to wonder about what his intentions are.
WHY am I the one who gets to hear it?
AND. WHY. Do I get to WATCH it?
Because. I’m trying to take the high road. He’s a jack ass. And I deserve better. But do I deserve to actually see whatever this is unfold in front of me?
I watched it last night. I was angry. They don’t care about me. That part is obvious. They deserve each other. Both liars. Both suck as people. Both don’t care. So. Why do I care?
Because apparently I’m just a glutton for punishment.
All of us are on different paths. I’m in the bloody milky-way compared to the road they are on. Ignorant Road I think it’s called.
It just sucks because we all have this similar interest. Sailing. I was thinking of joining the Rescue team. Hells bells no. Jacques already on it and she is thinking of joining next year. But why do I have to refrain from doing what I want?
I love this sailing thing. Finally found a hobby I enjoy. And I love being on the water. It is the best thing I have done for myself.