The hint was taken and then some. Part of me is thrilled while part of me misses my friend. With that type of thought process I guess one can say that the right decision was made. And I’m glad I stuck to my guns.
Alas, this relationship was over long before it really was. I don’t regret giving it another try, but FilmGuy was right. I had left the relationship or the second attempt at this relationship the minute he left town over 9 months ago for work. I had lost interest.
And for some stupid ass reason it then ended up being:
- 9 months of me wanting to pull the plug but not really knowing how without being an utter bitch not to mention the fact that there were events and plans that required both our attendance too.
- 9 long exasperating months of finally realizing i was not in love.
- 9 months of not having a great time in the sack…hell not even a good time in the sack nor enough time in the sack….really….he didn’t send me to a world of ecstasy. Selfish lover he was.
- 9 months of a platonic relationship.
- 1 year of thinking this was a good idea???
Essentially this relationship died over a year and a half ago. I fell out of love with him the minute he asked me to move out. But for some reason I didn’t see that in myself until a year after I say yes to giving it another try? He broke me down that much. Making me feel so small. That I needed him? his love (whatever it was)?
I was such a stupid girl. I didn’t need him. I thought I wanted him.
I was so out of love, I was blind.
I deserve better. Hell I just deserve a good romp in the hay at this point. Love would be a bonus.
All in all it really makes a girl look around and you never know what one can find. Say for example a rendezvous with a fantastic Frenchman. One that I hope to pick up upon my return to Vancouver.