The world is pretty in pink…plus…sometimes it even sparkles

Breaking Point

My phone decided to leap from my safe, warm, and dry hands and nose dive into the toilet on Friday night. Five minutes before I was to leave to meet a girlfriend at the art gallery for an event.

I frantically swore and scooped my phone from the bowels of the toilet bowl. Frantically made my way to the kitchen and opened the bag of highly expensive organic brown rice and put a cup of that into a pot with my phone.

Then high tailed it out the door to try and meet my friend at an art gallery that has two entrances and organizers not being clear as to which entrance to use.

Needless to say, my friend and I never met up ūüė¶

She was thought something must have happened to me.

I walked all the way to FilmGuys’ place where I proceeded to have a pity party. FilmGuy normally would have ran away and returned his attention to the TV. This time he didn’t. He turned the TV off. He got me a glass of water and put an arm around my shoulder and let me have my pity party.

The next day he helped me get a new phone. He was supportive. Helpful. All the things he’s supposed to be.

And of course my old phone didn’t back up properly to itunes and my entire contact list was gone AND I don’t have internet at home to upgrade the itunes software for my phone. I had to take my laptop to FilmGuy’s that evening and do it all there.

He’s putting all this effort into me, into us and I am unable to¬†subconsciously¬†return the gestures. I actually have to think about it and make an effort. More than I used to. It used to come naturally. A want. Now…I’m not so sure. He’s the one guy thought who doesn’t annoy me or make me roll my eyes at when he’s being annoying unlike the Mechanic.

This year has sucked beyond compare. Some of it my fault, most of it his fault and other 10% the result of just plain dumb luck. ¬†I am at my breaking point. I keep picking myself up, but honest to god, I’m tired of doing all the heaving lifting.

2012 cannot come soon enough.


Comments on: "Breaking Point" (2)

  1. Sounds like he’s doing some of the lifting?

    • yes…he is now. this is how it should have been. part of this is because he wanted me gone. i am holding a grudge because the added expenses have been a direct result of him and now he wants me back…i have an inner war going on.

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