for the last week i’ve been home alone. NewMan has been out of town. for work. this is travelling every 3 weeks for 7 days is going to become the norm in his life and our relationship.
he returns today.
i do miss him, but then again i don’t. i especially don’t miss not having the dog around to be responsible for.
i sat in the shower for an hour last night [my thinking place] and really thought about how i am without him around and then with him around. i don’t think it’s particularly good that i’m torn.
we have been creating a better routine where the first friday back we have dinner together. not sure what’s going to happen this week. this friday is a holiday…talk of snowboarding is on the table. i’m game. just not for whistler.
i don’t know what’s going on. i’m just not confident that this relationship is my path, or i just don’t know what i ultimately want to do in my life and indecisive about work and personal relationships in general.
in the meantime, i’m just not going to try and fix what is not even broken.