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Conveying my POV

this has been a long running discussion between FilmGuy and myself.

it’s the discussion with regards to his ex.

the one he shares the cutest dog in the world with.

a little history of their relationship – they started off as friends, became best friends, became romantic, lived together, got a dog and broke up when the dog was 6 months or something. they have remained friends after the split for about 4 years. then this past year FilmGuy and The EX have not been getting along all that great which can cause headaches when sharing a dog.

i was happy not having to interact The EX no more the cordial politeness with regards to the dog and as per needed.

fast forward to two months ago. they have now been able to work through their issues.

now the concurring issue has been how I am not comfortable with the idea of “hanging out” with The EX because they are good friends again. this is difficult because they have a lot of mutual friends.

I am having difficulty defending my POV and conveying my argument as to why I don’t want to be around The EX at a party or at a football game, but I was coming around to it. But I was not prepared for CAMPING.

YES. CAMPING. a labour day weekend in Sept. FilmGuy is inviting pals including The EX. Most my friends who camp, either don’t want to go to the site that has been picked due to the nightly cost to sleep on the ground and “restrictions” or are unavailable that weekend. SO now I’m left with his friends [25% whom i like] and the rest who I don’t want to be stuck anywhere with.

FilmGuy’s’s argument is that “this is normal”, “it’s childish behavoir” not to get along with ex’s. Then he gets angry and upset. Mainly because I don’t agree to do this? to do what he wants? all because he says I’m being childish and stupid???

Can anyone tell me WHY I have to spend THREE DAYS with her? ALSO, if  FilmGUy and I were to have a party – say celebration of our relationship…AM I OBLIGATED TO INVITE HER??? I don’t want this women in my relationship with FilmGuy and HOW do I tell him that? Because she IS in the relationship already because of the STUPID CUTE DOG.

They were in and out of each other’s lives for the past 10 years.  They know everything about each other. AND I HATE IT.

I do know I don’t have to go camping and he will just go without me. I also know that he wouldn’t be hurt or upset or really show any kind of emotion of CARING that I wouldn’t be going. I think that hurts most of all.

So how do I get him to see my side? Is it even possible that he would care?



Comments on: "Conveying my POV" (4)

  1. I have to disagree with him. I think it’s childish behavior to not try and see your POV.

    My friend M-Joy is in another role in the same scenario. In your story, she is the EX. She swears nothing’s going on between her and her male best friend (also her ex-boyfriend) and I believe her. However the new girlfriend is not happy at all. Their solution? Those two girls are never in the same room with each other. He hangs out with each one separately. It sucks, but it is a sucky situation.

    • oh i know nothing is happening…it just sucks that he “pity’s my POV” and doesn’t understand why this is an issue. It was an interesting conversation last night to say the least. These two have had some form of relationship for 10 plus years and it was admitted last night that if they didn’t have this dog they wouldn’t be friends anymore.

      Main reason is my gut tells me not to be friends with her. Interesting note. She didn’t think to ask whether I would have a problem/issue/concern with us all going camping together. So, my feelings/opinions don’t matter to either of them apparently, because they view it as a non issue.

      I just want to bang my head against the wall.

  2. Yikes! I fully believe his obligation should be to YOU…his girlfriend?! I’m not sure how I would handle this, but I can tell you right now I wouldn’t want to go with OR let him go without you! It’d be one thing if you liked the girl (is that possible – have you tried?), but since you clearly don’t feel comfortable around her, this is just a BAD IDEA. Camping blows under the best of circumstances if you ask me. BOO to this scheme. I wish you luck in deciding what to do — it appears he isn’t willing to step down on this one so it’s up to you.

    • thank you! i know I’m right on this!! However, I’m going to go as he wants to go. we’ve had a decent chat about it. We’ll see how this goes.

      I’ve tried to like her…but my gut instinct is to hit her over the head with the nearest object. So this should be interesting. I think I’m going to go rent a bike for the weekend and just take off and do my own thing. I do love Whistler and hopefully the weather will be nice, or I’m bunking down in a hotel room.

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