The world is pretty in pink…plus…sometimes it even sparkles

now what

even though this past weekend was romantic and all i could have wanted, my relationship has taken a turn….and not for the better. mainly because of things that have been left unsaid. and things that have been said in the past five days.

obviously this is all my POV so it’s gonna be biased and i do take responsibility because i know i’m no picnic. i don’t think i want to get into the details though.

ultimately this has been the week from hell. work has been stressful. feeling a lack of support from my man and well then there’s the other thing – see previous post, if you know the password.  ergo my attitude was not the most positive, and it hasn’t been for the past couple of months. i came back from vegas and i haven’t been the same. not sure why. really unsure why to be honest. but maybe i need to budget in Therapist again. because quite frankly i need a safe place where i can say anything i want without judgement and without criticism because quite frankly i’m not sure i can take it anymore.

and i do know for certain that i come a far second to the dog which i’ve been taking care of more than i should for a dog that isn’t mine, i know that may sound cruel. but he shares the dog with the ex. so we get the dog everyweekend. she’s adorable and she comes part of the package, fine. I’ll pull my weight. BUT. if he is out of town, do i still get the dog on my own? no. so essentially it’s not my dog and quite frankly i’ve been tired of cleaning up after her, taking her out every morning and ensuring she gets fed and gets her meds. i may have mentioned this at the end of a very emotional conversation. my mistake. because the anger finally arose and showed me the true colours and where i stand in relation. good to know. i hope i’m imagining things.

for now…the lack of sleep for the last few days has caught up with me.  regardless i have no idea what the plan is for the future anymore….distant or in tomorrow.

Advertisements

Comments on: "now what" (4)

  1. I stumbled across your blog yesterday and have been reading it like a book ever since. I’m an American living in Saudi Arabia. As a ‘trailing spouse’ I have a lot of time on my hands. Picture mind-numbing boredom. Anyhow, point to my comment, would I be able to have a the password to the protected posts, there are so many chapters missing to this book!

    Thanks.

    Jackie

    • Hi jackie, thanks for the interest in my little world. I’ve emailed you 🙂 ttyl

  2. I’m so sorry you’re going through a rough time with J. The only advice I can give is that it’s not to late TO say the words that haven’t been said. Take a step back to witness what could be lost if you don’t, and then tell him how that makes you feel. You will work it out. In the meantime, remember what it is that made the two of happy in the start.

  3. You’ve had “blips” like this before and have surmounted them, so I have no doubt that you will be able to do that again. But I would definitely be leaving the walking and cleaning up after to the bf!

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: