So I sit here at lunch and reflect what’s been going on for the past month and the new corner I’ve turned, Professionally and Personally. There have been some people who have interpreted the decisions I have made to be negative, wanting to be single one of them.
Professionally – I still have a couple months to make it past that 3 month pro-b and I’m crossing my fingers it all works out well and I am working my ass off to make sure it does [except at lunch today while I type]. I believe this position will allow me to grow in my career but also learn soooo much. Plus, I get to go to Reno on occasion. Screw LV, Reno is where it’s at????
Personally – I reflect at the decisions I have made regarding my personal relationships, romantical and friends. Simply put. I have no regrets.
I have made choices, subconsiously and/or conciously to dissassociate people from my inner circle and to include others. Simply put. I have no regrets.
A couple weeks ago I met up with a mentor of sorts and began discussing relationships which I felt could use some improvement and how to approach that without igniting WWIII. The basic rule that came out of that conversation was the need to set boundaries. Boundaries for myself that I will not break and will not let others push them down, intrude into my inner santcum or subconcious and cause immense sadness. Sounds great. Easy to do. However…still haven’t figured out how creating boundaries and fighting over borders is going to eliminated the Atom bomb factor when dealing with VIP’s in my world.
One boundary for me to address more thoroughly, is how I react to people from my outer circle treat my inner circle with disrespect. Well, that’s obviously my perception of the situation. But it does become a concern when my friend feels belittled and stepped on. Unfortuantely, it is a difficult thing to approach to anyone, because you are criticizing their being. So instead of instigating a battle of the fittest, I tend to dissassociate and pick whom I feel is more important to me. Selfish? yes. Limiting the social circle? yes. But what else are boundaries for? Ultimately, it alleviates stress on my shoulders.
Ahh theres the last thing. Stress. Sure I have life’s stresses, but it’s amazing they aren’t taking precedent of my mind. Sure I stress about money. Who doesn’t? Sure I stress about my job performance and where my career maybe going [just did that Dec’07/Jan’08]. But again, who doesn’t? Relationships, especially romantical, can have stressful moments? Who doesn’t have those moments? So what do I do? I chillax. Take a moment [or twenty] for myself. Do something I want to do. Like take solo vacation, have a solo Saturday night, go swimming, or even read a novel and get lost in someone else’s problems and the ultimate stress fixer for a girl, go shoe shopping or shopping in general.
Ultimately when I break it down, the main causer of stress in my little tiny world is myself and my inability to keep my apartment clean and orgamanized. You really think I’m kidding? Thank goodness, my OCD drive is kicking in and I just bought furniture [dressers and a desk] so I have a place to, I dunno, to keep my clothes and my computer! Now if I only had an OCD drive to do laundry on a regular basis [you know you have way too many clothes when…]
Because I know myself and my history better than you do [no offence], I am quite proud of where I am and that paths that it took for me to get here. I am definitely excited about where I’m going. Basically I am Amazed.